The All Mighty Macintosh II

Your Macintosh II may no longer be up to date, but...

...you can keep your lunch warm inside of the case and still have room for 3 NuBus boards.
...it makes a good substitute for a 16 ton weight when you need to drop something on a windows user.
...it can still launch Netscape.
...it is a screaming (literly) machine.
...you can take the guts out and make it a disk storage box.
...it could have six 800k floppy drives installed at the same time if you cut a few more holes into the front of a Mac II...RAID of 800k floppies.
...it is not much more than an oversized block.
...you can use it to serve 100s of Pluses and SEs.
...they are still in use at NCSA.
...it can double as a rat maze.
...it can't run away from home too fast.
...you can rent it out to an immigrant family of 4.
...it is an under powered machine that makes up for lack of speed with its noise.
...you can hide your pot in it. Cops never look inside the computer.
...it is one of the few mac's supported by MacBSD.
...you can fall asleep with the lull of the fan.
...it is a big box full of fun.
...it sounds like a 500 horse power engine.
...it is an equal match to a Pentium 200 running Windows 95.
...it has a toaster-oven mode.
...you can pile papers on it.
...it can't be mistaken for an ant.
...they are still in use in 9 out of 10 of American's trailers.
...it is a great foot rest.
...you at least have an anchor for your boat.
...it proof that you are almost a decade behind in technology.
...how many new macs have 2 disk drive bays?
...it is a commercial strength air-condioning system.
...you have a way to warm the house on those cold winter days.
...you can give it to your sibling.
...it could be used as an oversized paper weight.
...you can make it look important by turning it 90 degrees.
...it has a copy of NCSA Mosaic 1.0.
..."II" is symmetrical.
...it can emulate the vibrations of a freight train.
...you can use the disk drive to permantly destroying data.
...you can brag about having the first color mac.
...it can be converted into a web server.
...it is cheaper than an anvil.
...it provides a nice, safe enviroment for up to six lucky nubus cards.
...020 is a palindrome and 601, 603 and 604 arn't.
...you can brag to all your friends that you have a big, powerfull machine.
...16 just happens to be your age...
...it is a safe place to store your nubus cards...
...Byte loved it when it came out.
...you can turn it into a maze for a mouse with just a few cards.
...can your current machine have 6 monitors?
...it can run System 7.5.5.
...it can run old system software you would never be able to on your fancy PowerMac.
...it comes from an era when Apple was cool.
...you can donate it to a school and get a tax break.
...you can run those old games you have laying around.

<eric@yikes.com>